Family-flavored Feelings
by mystical blue dreams
Summary: Levi's heart is taken from the rags of painful past. Petra renovates his heart.He soon knows the meaning of to love and be loved. The wings of freedom will finally soar and so will his love for his family.
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** please go easy on judging my language, for I am not a native speaker of English, but certainly a lover of that cute language.

No female titan in here

Petra is 23

I am sorry for being over-optimistic in the story, but I am trying to make up for all the feels I had in snk deaths :s

It's only formal in the first chapter , at the other chapters the story will be more lively.

**Disclaim ****: **I don't own anything in shingeki no kyojin. Characters belong to Hajimi Isayama. I only own loving feelings for this Anime.

I don't own the fan art.

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Walls, moreover, titans , were being confinements which limited humans' living. Throughout an entire year, soldiers made promising performance when they rampaged to kill the obnoxious titans. They harnessed their strength well enough to drastically fight the monstrous creatures which titans really were . their accomplishments were worthy and honorable . They never eluded at any cost, and they were dutifully committed to their task. They wanted to seize what was originally their property and restore human beings' dignity . By Eren's support and cooperation besides the soldiers' efforts ,humanity withstood the titans. The disaster of them existing was finally soluble. They were told by Dr. Jaeger , by his experience and knowledge, that due to titans inability to reproduce, they would never outnumber humans whatsoever. That fact was a privilege added once again to the army in particular, and to humanity in general. The number of titans was slashed deliberately. Commander Erwin had awareness of how this made them take steps forward. Saving humanity was of great magnitude. He wanted the conquest of the land obstinately. He underscored the developing process and dynamic state which they were passing through. This time, clearly, they were the ones to march to victory. And one day, they will hit the final strike to titans once and for all. He had a futuristic anticipation that one day in the near future, nasty titans will be as good as dead and will no longer evoke any kind of anguish or horrific dread to humanity. After the expeditions and the excruciating confrontations they had had with titans, that year ended.

To a becoming extent, the prospect of peace was well-established, life started to flourish on a whole new level inside the walls but not yet out, the population rose acceptably, and housing construction and education had took place already.

In a pleasant afternoon, Erwin sat on the chair of his desk, he clasped his hands along his usual composure, as calm as the ocean-blue color of his eyes. Even a glimpse at him could note that his solemn figure is as much earnest as his words of speech. After all, he was the commander-in-chief of the survey corps who would deal with all these toilsome burdens and responsibilities that would befall on him accordingly.

As usual, Levi, Mike and Hanji were summoned to his office. The three of them sat across from him, awaiting for whatever thoughts or declarations he had in mind. He had sunk himself into his profound thoughts lately.

He cleared his throat, leaning forward, he firmly addressed them all at once:

"while retrieving 90% of the land which once was one of the largest territories of titans, surely we can now afford to be complacent about the security of those lands for humanity. They will be utilized into being residential in the near future. I acknowledge that we all could never have done it without the great assistance of Dr. Jaeger's efforts and his son's outstanding titan abilities in addition to the soldiers. "

He grabbed the stacks of paper, aligned them on his desk and continued speaking,

'' I sent a dispatch that reported the overall military record to the king. After I had conferred with him about our current status, he approved my plan. Because peace seems to be approximately approaching a high pleasing degree, the plan is to suspend any military operations until further notice and stick only to internal supervision of the walls. In other words, all upcoming expeditions are put off. In addition, academic pursuit for young cadets aged from 15 to 17 will be within these two years. I saw great potential in the competent soldiers, achievements were so far so good. They deserve temporary off-duty. At a third year, they will rejoin us and we all will indulge and buckle down to thorough training sessions and finally put an end to titans as we wish.''

Nobody had any sort of fault to find in him, at least this time. His strategic perception was based on the premise that _haste makes waste_. Professionally speaking, if anybody mostly comprehends the downright meaning of this statement, it will absolutely be him. He deemed it will suffice if not done in an over-hurried way because soldiers would not function properly if they were pushed beyond the limits .

''Tch, it's about time the king started to think of anything other than his own shitty welfare.'' Levi stated bluntly.

Erwin assured them, ''this will ameliorate the situation we have in hand. For the time being, it conforms to the soldiers' needs.''

Mike stood to dismiss, ''I will have the others informed instantly''.

''Great ! this would give me adequate time to furtherly analyze my titan's experiment results then. ''Hanji said with a bizarre grin carried on with an extended obsessive look behind her glasses. She spoke with a fully facetious tone '' After all, titans are the_** heart**_ of my matter.''

Levi turned fairly to look at her facial expression and nearly swore that not even titans could replicate such grin which he considers eerie. He insolently rolled his eyes at her after she had got out of the office. He failed to understand her oddly vivid attitude even when it comes to titans.

Levi thought about what Erwin said minutes ago. He responded, ''lucky brats, I guess we are the ones left for military observations of the walls and everlasting bullshit of darn paperwork.'' This time wearing a scowl that furrowed his eyebrows as if his face was a picture painted with anger all of a sudden. He knew that orders are orders. He sighed, '' I am scarcely in a position to form any disagreement about this, it is our shitty job and it eventually has to be done.''

Erwin sincerely spoke to him, ''well Levi, for this, you are whom I trust mostly above all others.''

Levi's scowl altered into a monotonous stare. ''God-damned filthy bastards toying around us as if we were puppets strangled upon them in their sight.'' He replied, showing prominent disgust at his own mention of titans. Deep down inside, Levi had the urge to shed blood of the bastard titans who shed the blood of his close comrades.

Erwin never knew what Levi exactly meant by his previous remark, was he being sarcastic or seemingly pissed off in his own way.

'' In the long run, the hegemonizing of humans by titans will cease to exist. Humanity will eventually have the upper hand.'' Erwin stated resolutely before both of them walked out of his office.

The young soldiers were surprised upon hearing such a plan and proclamation. Sasha was another story. ''Hurray…...wheee..!'' she sprung gleefully, mustered any breath she could get and swallowed down her last mouthful of bread. She noticed their blonde commander from a distance not so far. Sasha was staring as if she was contemplating a daydream, ''notice me senpai…''

Mina was standing next to her. She wanted to elbow Sasha giving her a "shush'' but failed because Sasha had already rushed towards him.

''Good day sir'', she saluted him. In spite of his tough authoritative rank, Erwin did not lack being a gentleman. He was good-thinking, good-looking and good-mannered. He had a courteous charisma, a prestigious behavior to smile respectfully at anyone. Before he could even reply back with a polite nod, the hyper-active girl had blurted out very quick but audible enough speech, _**''we truly appreciate this, commander handsome..''**_

She scooted quickly out of the way before he could utter anything. He stood confused by strangeness…


	2. Chapter 2

After a week or so, young soldiers entered school as mere students . They were divided and gender-segregated into their own rooms of dorms, only being mixed genders in classrooms and campus. Luckily, Armin and Eren were roommates, but much to Eren's surprise, Jean was the third member to join in.

Eren asked, rather annoyed '' _**You ?**_ ….ugh ..of all the people ?''

''Well, same to you then. I am not happy to see you either, suicidal freak ! '' Snapped Jean, in a bothered manner.

It was already evening. Eren started satirically '' just hit the hay, horse face.''

Armin facepalmed, '' here we go again…''

The following week, Armin, Eren and Mikasa gathered and as usual sat together. They saw all the rest of their friends at the school campus chattering together like there's no tomorrow.

Armin looked at them with a cheerful smile printed on his stretched lips, ''what do you think of school so far Mikasa ?'' He glanced at her and at the vast campus pointedly. Mikasa held her gaze which showed no emotions, only her voice did, when she spoke ''since we were recently separated into several rooms, I feel strangely lonely even when I go back to accompany my own roommates. Sasha snores unbearably too much, not to mention the recent blabber about so-called commander handsome, Krista is a sweetheart though, but still, -''

Just to brush away all her upset and loneliness, Eren came out with a sudden suggestion, but not quite a relevant one. ''Let's go visit someone I knew from the survey corps, and particularly, from special operations squad, one of the soldiers I knew and had teamed up with earlier before you guys came along and joined us. A part of me tells me that we all missed some of those folks. Trust me you'll feel better after knowing her. Her name is _Petra Ral_.''

Students were given the green light to do visits outside school to their families, friends or colleagues as long as they go from 2 p.m up until 6:30 p.m . Except for weekends, they could stay over at their homes sharing enough time with beloved family members and then go back to school whenever a week starts. Eren's home was too distant, so he was content with his father visiting him instead. He knew his father was busy giving medical treatments to patients but would still see him nonetheless. After they were given a permission to go, they walked along the road.

Armin tilted his head ''Wait a second, wasn't she one of captain Levi's squad members that got married to him a year ago when we enlisted at the survey corps before we had deadly ruthless fights with titans last year ?''

The event finally popped in his mind as he remembered, Armin's memory would never allow to escape any details of any occasion he would witness.

Eren nodded to his friend showing agreement, He knew that Armin was one smart cookie ever since they were children.

''oh, now I remember'' said Mikasa, ''I only saw her that day with….._captain Levi._'' Suddenly, at her reference of the well known corporal, Mikasa's face changed to a frightening glare that almost held all the anger of the world at once because she recalled his atrocity when brutally hitting Eren until he literally choked on his own blood.

'' _**That short man… how dare he harm you..?!**_'' She momentarily fretted.

''Mikasa, that was a long time ago… stop making a mountain out of a molehill, I am right here safe and sound.'' Eren warily placated her, knowing that no good would happen if Mikasa sees red. The last thing that he would want is to have Pandora's box opened.

''Well at least we are not really visiting _** him**_ and not for _**his**_ sake.'' She uttered in a matter-of-fact tone beside her deep look.

After 20 minutes of walking on foot, they finally arrived.

At the entrance of the garden, Petra caught sight of them, generally surprised by who were intending to visit her. Drifting into their direction, she welcomed them in her own way enthusiastically ''What a splendid surprise , Eren. Long time no see.''

''Miss- I mean Mrs. Petra-… I mean Mrs. Ackerman-'' He friendly replied, but feeling rather flustered for faltering and calling her by the wrong title and then quickly corrected himself.

Before he completed his speech, Petra interrupted, playfully ruffling the brunette's hair:

''stop addressing me so formally ,silly.'' She chided him ever so gently, ''I have known you long enough to treat you like a younger brother.''

At that short moment of what Petra did and said, Eren sensed a blush that he had rarely felt its existence in his whole lifetime.

''anyway,'' Petra continued, ''you must be his best friends that he mentioned to me, I saw you once , but I can't seem to remember quite when or where.''

Interestingly enough, both introduced themselves to her.

''guys, I am sorry to keep you still standing outside'' she smiled warmly,'' come on in.''

By entering the threshold, Eren saw her noticeably swollen belly, she was 5 months pregnant. Inside his thoughts, Eren reckoned that it unsurprisingly suits Petra to be a mother, since he and the rest of Levi's squad have always experienced her maternal aura when making them tea and coffee, advising Eren to retain his faith in them ,caring for him, sympathizing mostly with him when he was a new member and of course, smacking Auruo on his back due to continually bragging then biting his tongue like a moron. Eren giggled to himself amusingly when he recalled that last foolish memory.

They sat down on the sofa, Petra passed tea cups for each. Pleasant was the aroma that spread through the air…enchanting their olfactory senses... Petra took a slow sip of her warm tea. While they all were drinking the brisk tea, Petra curiously watched the ambitious glimmer adorning their juvenile eyes. They secretly reminded her of herself when she was at their age having the sensational bloom of hope blossoming from within. In fact, she wasn't that older than them, she was only 23 years old. She knew that Eren did not seem to have changed, at least not in his selflessness and motivations.

The atmosphere was oddly loaded with silence until Petra spoke ,''I have been busy taking care of my father and Levi at home, but I really missed you all in the scouting legion. I have always told Levi to send you all my regards'', then she took a small sip of her rich scented tea.

''Captain Levi sure did, and we never forgot about you either. We asked him about you and he told us that you were ok but still missed working with the special operations squad.'' He placed his cup on the table.

At that fact, she felt happiness dancing in her heart and she joyfully grinned at them. Caring for others and seeing others care back for her was enough to make her world go round.

'' Levi told me that the survey corps really outdone great success last year. Time after time he would return home from expeditions fatigued but not caring to rest much. It required him to always be busy and engrossed in training and paperwork till another expedition comes up. He rarely even managed to take a small break or tell me details.''

Petra wanted to hear from Eren, as for Mikasa and Armin, they never mind listening again to their best friend, they would always be there.

He adjusted his posture more conveniently, and at the sight of their eyes focused on his, he started describing how each body of soldiers partook in the fight, all dispersed at several directions. The spontaneous burst of power and prowess filled the soldiers at the climactic moment as they eagerly darted and slashed the titans' napes, all of their movements were prompt. A mixed up gush of excitement surfaced on Eren's face when he told them he emerged into his titan form. From his evident facial expressions, Petra felt how he clearly revels in killing such creatures. The more he had described the more his facial expressions grew fixed and decisive. His emotions were a rollercoaster changing from excitement to determination and ending up with melancholy.

Eren was entangled between two things that fuel his pain, the anguishing imagery of the loss of his mother and being encaged with the pathetic feeling of living as cattle. It would take only a spark of both ideas to rekindle his ache and madness leading him to get extremely jittery about titans. But above all, his speech tone and the glisten in his green eyes bespoke a youthfully tenacious spirit to achieve the dream of reaching salvation of humanity. His friends knew how he hated to back down. Petra never forgot that he fully wanted to kill titans even the last one of them. At that specific thought, she remembered that he and Levi had the same objective of willingly exterminating titans.

Quiet yet obvious, he suddenly fell into sad thoughts, and the brightness of his eyes faded away. He spoke no more.

Mikasa wanted to remove his distress. She patted him on the back , ''I am starting to feel relieved that all this tragedy will soon be over. Don't be upset about what happened back then, no one died in vain, nothing can ever be nobler than what those soldiers did; they sacrificed their lives for others. You always said to me _**If you don't fight you can't win**_, do you remember, Eren?''

Her reference made him lift his chin up, he sat back relaxed, regaining his calm smile.

Armin nodded agreeably.

At the strength of their loyalty and friendship, Petra spoke to them in appreciation, ''All people are proud of what you and other soldiers did, it is unforgettable.'' She softly laid her hand on her belly, looking at each one of them '' I wish my child would be as brave and pure hearted as you are .''

Mikasa wouldn't easily be read or open up to new people, yet she felt comfortable towards Petra's endearing kindness. The former liked her.

Armin, the timid boy, felt a swirling emotion of happiness tickling his heart and causing him to smile unconsciously at the compliment.

This time, Eren didn't know what to say, he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. They curtailed their visit and stood to leave. Petra approached them, and hesitantly opened the door . a slight hint of sadness in her voice, '' I don't consider this a full visit, please come again.''

'' I promise you, we will.'' Eren replied before stepping out of the door with his friends.


	3. Mother

After that visit to Petra , they felt enlightened with joy streaming in them.

They were at their special dorm. At their bunkroom, Jean was already there. Armin sat reading a book, not bothering anyone. Eren drank a glass of water for the sake of getting rid of a heartburn.

Quietness roamed around their busy yet silenced minds, until Jean blurted out ''I don't know what is the worst , shitty titans, studying at school or being a roommate with Eren shitty Jaeger.'' He sat at the corner of the room in his usual position, laying his cheek on his palm elbowing the ebony table and fiddling with a pen in his other hand, trapped between a distasteful look at everything and a sigh showing every meaning of boredom. Suddenly, his vision fell onto a paper '' Not again!'' he snapped, clutching the paper which was basically a mail letter from his mother to him. ''Ah…when will my _foolish mother _ ever stop treating me as a shitty snot-nosed child…?!''

..._**mother...**_

Eren forgot the insult that Jean threw on him a minute ago_, _only the word _mother _ escaping through his ears and echoing in his mind as if his perception of speech was lost and only processed that word, a resonant image of a dire memory arose and struck his heart. Eren immediately felt an outburst of anger, and a grief of some sort.

He advanced towards jean and grabbed his shirt tightly by the collar, his words clouded with range gradually rising ''Don't you ever realize the meaning of a_ mother_ ..?!'' . A glint of wrath was congested in Eren's eyes, he thrust him away as if he was a stacked trash bag, Jean nearly recoiled.

Eren jabbed a finger pointing at him , looking him in the eye in direct contempt, his voice bristled with indignation, ''you know what Jean, you sure are a shallow person, always bragging about yourself while taunting whom you have in your life. I guess a boastful person like you would never even behold the worth of his mother in the slightest !''

There was a plain chasm between their ways in perceiving life and people around them.

Eren stormed, drawing himself out of the door and slamming it shut. He felt disappointed and shattered. Eren thought him as a scum. Armin felt helpless for Eren's pain, he explained to Jean:

'' you tugged at his heartstrings, when mentioning your mother, you brought back to him bitter memories of losing his own'' ,with a serious voice wrapped in hesitation, Armin added ''..Um..Jean, ..that was definitely not a way to talk about your mother…''

Jean sat there utterly dumbfounded after feeling what bullshit he caused; a rising poignant memory of a mother's death.

Armin followed Eren, he sympathized with him and tried to help, '' Eren-''

As soon as he spoke, Eren cut him off, ''I am fine Armin, please…. I just want some time to be alone, nothing else..'' he replied plaintively without turning his back to face his friend. When he was sure that Armin went away and the sound of his footsteps became lower, Eren continued walking through the corridor until he reached a quiet place. He sat himself in the farthest corner possible, a one quiet enough not to be noticed. He slouched in the corridor corner. He can't possibly blame jean for his real past pain, it wouldn't even help to pour all his anger on him. He didn't mean to evoke any memory, that stupid Jean was just trying to goad him as often, but his speech somehow unintentionally erupted sad pain of the past .

Eren was silent from the outside, but from the inside, his heart shrieked with pain. Some of his piece of mind and hope were dashed. The memory roaring down in every inch of his mind and therefore every inch of his body shuddered, loads of bitterness fell on his heart enough to decimate it. He abhorred the perpetual memory of that titan devouring his mother. What called for his wonder was how he hadn't already become deranged from that loathsome incident.

Eren's heart was afflicted, it sank in memory, as well as his face…drowned in tears..how could he not ? because losing a mother would never be easy for any person in the world..

He raised his wrist to wipe away his tears, but instead, it only caused him to sob more heatedly…because that old blouse he was wearing now was made by her..his mother's scent still on it..forcing him to smell it whenever he inhales the air from sobs. He clenched his hands tightly and slunk himself not to be seen or heard. He was limitlessly exasperated. He strongly wants to bombard those bastard titans cold-bloodedly. His feelings always get the better of him making him carried away whether in excitement, anger or even woe like this…

Although He was aware that it was not the time to break down, he groaned, ''I promised myself, and I promise _**you**_now mother, I _**will kill **_those titans with my bare hands..'' his speech broken through sobs ''till the last one of them… even if it would cost me my life…''

For him, he would fight titans' attack but not handle a sum of grief memories attacking his heart till it mourns .He slowly stood up, walking through tense steps…

Good thing he still had his father and friends who are more like a family to distract him enough from dreary thoughts and daze.

He then remembered that he was not the only one who lost a family member, his friends also shared the same pain. let alone his parents, Armin also lost his grandfather, and Mikasa lost her parents too. They all shouldered each other in order to overcome hardships of life and go on. They are a remedy for each other and he will never deny or forget that.

_**Mother…..Friends….Family….**_

**Note: **I am so sorry for making this chapter sad, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to write about what I understood and learned from shingeki no kyojin. It really opened up my mind to more important things and made me contemplate about life. It made me more affectionate and value family, friends and soldiers more and more… This Anime is just…. So full of feels :,( my heart watched this anime more than my eyes did..


	4. She is his home

Mr. Ral had been out to water the plants and after an hour and a half he came back .

A combination of loving life and nature's beauty appeared on his sweaty face. Scattered sloppy lines and drops of mud on his rubber boots showed how much he was trying to lessen the mess and tried to desperately stay clean not wanting to dirty his daughter's house . he also knew how Levi regards cleanliness and Mr. Ral respected that.

Levi felt pleased at that notice.

Mr. Ral's stillness beside the window caused sun rays coming from it to reflect onto his face, illuminating it. Radiance crept and somehow his sweat gave a shine to his face. Except for some slightly wrinkled lines on the side of his eyes, he didn't look much old. Speaking of age, seeing his daughter, Petra, about to add another member to the family was such a bright thing enough to bring back more life to his soul and age. as a gardener, a man with a green thumb, he knew how to deal with trees and exotic plants. He gave Petra a handful of herbs in his right hand while carrying the watering pot in his left one.

His fatherly warm gaze was on Petra, he calmly said, ''patience…. Patience my dear daughter, for most beautiful gifts in life come with waiting..'' seemingly wanting Levi to hear those words too .

'' your mother used to drink those natural herbs in her pregnancy, wash and try them my dear.''

She placed her hand on his shoulder, ''thank you father.''

He wiped away the sweat on his forehead by his palm and turned facing Levi '' so you are heading to work now son? ''

''yes sir I am.'' Levi replied straightforwardly and more stoic than a normal reply should be .

Mr. Ral was surprised for a few seconds at the way Levi addressed him. '' well, if you'll excuse me I am going to take a shower.'' Before Mr. Ral went along Petra told him ''father, I prepared your towel, you will find it folded beside the mirror.''

Petra grabbed Levi's hand before he could hold his boots and wear it. She spoke to him with her soothing voice ''Levi you haven't eaten anything for breakfast , at least let me fix you a cup of tea. You still have extra fifteen minutes. ''

She hurried to the kitchen and Levi followed her. He leaned his back on the kitchen's door carefully watching Petra as she did a hasty attempt to fill the teapot with water and put it on the stove.

She looked a little lost, hovering up and down at the cupboard to look for something. Petra let out a sigh free from weariness but filled with wonder. ''hmm, now where did I put your mug ?''

With his manly sober steps, he was walking near her, sort of a homeward way. That unfathomable mysterious and warm feeling of ease that grew in him at this time of his life, he certainly never had such a feeling before . He soon was standing behind her, he encircled his arms around her belly, lowered his head towards her shoulder and delightedly told her '' forget the tea, je t'aime Petra..'' .

She also loved him from all her heart with all his flaws. He knew he would be a fiendish-hearted jerk if he would ever shoot her a rejection offhandedly that it could flare up her tender heart. His bleak outlook for the future turned into a wonderful thoughtful insight into life . His face that contorted with silenced pain was perked up, and that pain melts down when her presence and much better her voice falls onto his ears, pampering him by caring words . Petra turned her head towards his face ''I love you too'' letting out a chuckle ''frenchie'' she playfully nuzzled her nose with his. His innate world went secure.

'' Levi..'' said Petra calling his name in softness that held nothing but care ''loving you is something I would never in the least regret.''

He thought if only he could clean his heart from things he hated more than dirt, things harder to clean, which were grudge and pain of his past years that fouled his heart. But Petra made it easier for him, she simply entered his life and cleaned his heart with her smile that was a bless bestowed on him.

How a beautiful clash between two different worlds would coincide and mingle in melodic harmony sending their hearts to dance blissfully between gleams of happiness. She was to complete his other half, the forgotten and long abandoned one that he never cared to have. Petra renovated his heart and mollified his worries .

She was his wife, _**his home**_…

She hugged him, accommodating him into welcoming arms, most importantly , heart. His being which she wanted to harbor, giving him relief after countless moments of his misfortunate past . No voice but hers was to do a softening effect on his angered and hurt heart. Her whole arms as a home to lay his head, and by that exact time he would disregard the whole world and think it is worthless beside her because she is ardently the closest one to his heart.

He was supporting her again with his arms and looking fixedly at her face. Happiness long muted broke free and made him smile. Petra pecked Levi's cheek, thinking he is cheeky in an amusing kind of way.

She found herself laughing again, but suddenly, misty tears were filled with emotions sailing through her amber eyes, making them shinier than ever. She spoke, becoming dramatically wistful and about to cry ''I don't want you to feel alone ever again, I'll be the world to you because you mean the world to me.'' She wanted to cherish her husband, he was amazed. He was at loss for words at how one loving person replaced the world as a whole. His eyes widened when they fell on her teary ones, ''Tch, how come you are crying now ? Petra you were laughing a minute ago..'' she loved how cute he looked when he raised an eyebrow at her, good to see his facial expression for a change.

She wanted to discard anything that blemishes his happiness, even if it took her to convince him how much a good person or father he will be despite many bad things he thinks about himself.

He slackened the hug and caressed her belly ''take care of yourself and our brat for me''. Petra was about to droop. He put aside his sternness and spoke to her very gently, ''Petra you need to rest.''. Little did anybody know how caring he was from the inside that he himself rarely tried to explicitly show.

She raised her face to his ''I…I'm not sure how tired I am, but I am sure about my feelings, and I absolutely meant what I said to you''

Levi put a strand of Petra's auburn hair behind her ear ''this is good to know but please go rest, Petra.'' He loosened his hold, but she didn't want him to depart from her. But then again he had to go to work.

He was a person whose attributes were belied and marked as characteristics which define a cold heartless person unlike what he actually was. People have always thought him to be extremely rigid, stupid misconceptions of others made by their own minds. Their judgments were never likely to be fair. They were forgetting that their thought itself was harsh because it was superficial and random.

Of course he would be strict but only when it was necessary. There were much more things about him, deeper than that.

She closed the door after him, letting out her tears flow. ''Levi, I deeply know that your heart is purer than what you yourself would know..''


	5. Hope

**Note :**I am sorry for being late, I was stuck with too much things and I finally finished. I hope this story gets better. I love to see that some read it because at the beginning I thought it was boring :\ . Thanks again for everyone reading : )) you honestly encourage me.

Well, you know how Levi speaks, so I am sorry if you happen to see the F word 0 _0 ( I have never used it and I really never wanted to), but I had to make the speech more realistic to some characters..

I hope this chapter isn't silly, I would want some half drama half-humor

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Enough time had passed already, 6 hours of sleeping then Petra woke up.

''Glad to see you wake up darling '' Petra saw her father place a chair to set next to where she was laying. He placed a filled cup on the nightstand. '' you forgot about the herbs, so I made them into a warm drink for you.''

''Thanks papa'' she suddenly found him giving her a hearty pat on her head '' pay more attention to yourself dear Petra''.

Not that it was a strange thing for a father to care for his daughter , but he still coddled her the same way he used to do when she was a child. That didn't annoy her, it made her all the more happy for having such a fond father . Apparently, the innocent smile she had as a child was still shown on her face, not abandoning it.

He spoke to her, more discreet '' once again my dear daughter, you never failed to prove to me that the decision of joining the survey corps wasn't a bad idea, it was a blessing in disguise, you earned another family.'' At first, he was disappointed and thought it was ghastly to join the army, but then, he held faith and trust in his daughter's choices in life. '' I knew all along that you would carry the meaning of your name, it means _**rock, **_you have always been as strong as a rock. A strong soldier helping humanity too.'' His orbs looked so quiet, yet Petra still could see how lovingly proud of her he was.

He still had things to say. Not wanting to appear more worried than he was, he shifted his eyes from Petra to the curtains billowing slightly by a cool breeze. As he calmly and pensively mused at them ,he briefly stopped for himself to breath out his words.

''Petra dear, I don't want to be pushy but I want to know why does Levi keep speaking so formal to me, we are all one family. Am I a problem or something?'' Mr. Ral was strangely dispirited, he couldn't help but wonder why was it that Levi was still too formal, weren't they all a family already ? confusion couldn't stay hidden beneath his silenced face as he was gazing at the window, and surely Petra would understand his words without being all said.

''no father, not at all. In fact, you are one of the few people that he feels ease being around them, it's just that...it's about his past..'' she trailed quietly for minutes, Petra was on the borderline between ever telling her father about Levi's past or just folding words deeply within her mind, concealing them. .Never had the silence been heavier before..

He looked again at his daughter, sending his words to unravel such unusually prolonged silence between them '' I don't want you to reveal what he wants to be a secret about his past. I don't want to be pushy.'' Her reverent father only wanted to seek understanding and so patiently he did.

Petra knew that Levi would eventually let him know. Soon afterwards, she decided to tell him.

''no, father, Levi would want you to know sooner or later.'' Little by little she was drinking the herbs before they get cold..and maybe for the sake of lessening the taste of bitter words still lingering in her throat as she reluctantly breathed them out.. heavily weighed on the heart… the luminous bright smile was washed away, turning into dark prominent features in a brief time.

And so Petra started to tell her father why Levi was less talkative and so formal because he had never been exposed to much social life and family intimacy. Being sometimes stolid was because he didn't communicate much or frequently meet new people. It helped nothing but make family affection strange and foreign to him. It all started at the underground where he once lived- if that would even be called a life- that reeked with danger within every edge of a darkened corner..' _to kill or be killed_ ' was the stigma somehow imposed on Levi in that life; he grew so cold and at a certain point really stoic . Petra knew better, she didn't blame him, not that he was insensible but his heart was hurt enough until it reached a state of numbness that he didn't care to feel pain anymore. The absence of safety that time, losing his close friends, and seeing that the mostly worst people only remained was something too painfully tragic making him want to stay emotionally passive, scarcely get used to trusting certain people and sometimes getting unsettled around too much of them.

He was still trapped in his own past by that time, he choked on the ' farewell' he had to unfortunately give to Farlan and Isabel in such twisting heartache ! If people would forgetfully throw their misery easily, he probably would not. Yes, long time had passed since those misfortunate things happened, but all still affected levi's interactions with others for what would seem deep, if not permanent. All these memories being locked away were too much, he was emptied from everything except emptiness.

Her heart was swept with hurt and she felt fuzzy pain when she had to newly tell this to her father. If only memories were less distressing. _Thuggery_…._murders…blood everywhere …then came along his friends…then titans…..and then…blood again...then…utmost ache burning his heart…smoldering it into ashes… _he was too desolate.. A fiery agony behind that cool façade left him in a rigorously aloof disposition when encountering others ..

Mr. Ral released a sad sigh with sympathy written all over his face among knowing all that. Petra returned her eyes looking back at him to see the very much sorrow falling so sadly shattered, akin to bewildered depression as he spoke ''he is such a good fellow that did the right thing to abandon that life and give an honorary help protecting mankind from titans. I don't think he deserved a past like that.''

'' now I truly understand, Petra, that's why I wish Levi and us would become closer, so that we could at least make up for some of those losses by becoming a closer family by now.'' He looked at the wall as if hope was buried in corners for them to grasp it. Petra was listening carefully to what her father said and then pondered in realms of thought. He was still greeted with silence framing through her face. More than ever, She had a growing intention to endow them every care . All she could think of was hope for a better future ,she smiled with a little bit of dreaminess in her voice '' we will try to erase sadness in his heart and we'll be a good family to him. I do hope he will feel better'' them becoming a family was already an enough token of sincere love held between their precious lives. she wanted more of that beautiful family reunion they shared though they hadn't fully yet seen.

Mr. Ral returned his smile with a voice speaking volumes of hope likewise hers'' so do I''.

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Having their third month examination recently finished. They all gathered at a convenient area of the school yard. Finally having enough time to breathe fresh air and escape nightmarish times when they had to stay up late to study for exams.

''ugh... three months already and I am feeling crappy from head to toe.'' Said Jean, he leant his crossed hands at the back of his head and propped them on the wall.

As for Bertolt, setting in front of Annie and Reiner, he spoke in his usual way of life, saying candidly, ''for me, here is quite ok.''

Armin was the only one pleasantly ok with having exams, there was a beam colored with satisfaction on his face.

Sasha, said something out of the blue, her (light-hearted mode) always turned (on), ''mmmmm…this potato sandwich is totally delicious I could never stop my stomach from craving for more!''

_**No wonder she is called potato girl **_, thought Reiner

''those stupid exams deprived me of sleep, _big time_…that I ended up dreaming of creepy denture-recycling factories !'' said Connie, slapping his knees clumsily and causing his shoulders to shake up and down by a hysterical cackle. Sasha had the urge to hit him on his back, but to no use she resigned to her fail of hitting him and she raved

'' shtop it mmmnom nom Connie I am eating my shandwich mmmnom nom now !'' nagging out while chewing.

Jean raised an eyebrow at him'' seriously Connie what the fu** ?''

Ymir narrowed her eyes at Connie '' Yuck !That is not even funny at the slightest, this is disgusting..!'' and then huffed.

Eren just shrugged, getting used to his friends' weird behavior.

Connie protested '' am I the only one who doesn't want to be a killjoy here.? _jeez…_chill out..'' showing irritation from his classmates who shot annoyed gestures at him unanimously, except for Krista, she felt a sudden need to cool things down a bit'' relax guys'' then softened her voice deeply as if pleading '' everyone are friends after all.'' Mina winked at Krista while sweetly pinching her cheek '' well..aren't you an angel.'' because she was kindhearted not wanting any disagreement to ruin friendship.

Although Annie sat in the outermost, her dormant eyes were staring at Connie Quietly, but mentally, she pictured herself giving him her hefty kick that she was well known for. She forgets about it, there would be more trouble to come, better not do something that would mess things up. Connie seemed stationary for moments because he knew her voiceless stare could still scream _'' you are a goner !''_ at him. He exclaimed ingenuously '' what ? was it something I said? .b- but I was not joking, that's what I really saw in my dream!'' Frankly, Connie was inwardly puzzled at the moment as Ymir whispered to him ''judging from the look of Annie, here is a friendly reminder… _shut it_ _or you're done for._. '' Annie's threatening glare was an embodiment of something deadly and Connie was deterred at that sight.

Reiner crossed his arms over his chest, half amused of the ludicrous things Connie said. ''Relax..maybe that was what he did see in his dream, or he was just trying to be funny.''

Annie glumly grumbled ''It won't be funny when I kick him the old-fashioned way as he kicked out my appetite, I was going to have lunch minutes ago but thanks to him now it's out of question.''

Then, Bertolt spoke to him '' we really do believe you Connie, but you didn't have to tell us, at least not now.'' Trying sedately to justify without being harsh to his friend being quirky.

The activeness in their conversation didn't completely end or fuss, it luckily returned to normal. Even if what Connie said was a little repulsive , his goodness alleviated his acts. That was the typical happy-go-lucky Connie.

And then there was Mikasa, not much of a talkative girl, she sat with a little sullen pout, '' I know they are my friends and all, but they are day by day growing younger and childish…. I mean literally..''

Eren stood with a stare corresponding to hers , he had something on his mind..

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